Me Chinese, Me Play Joke...

OK so that title is terrible, but it is not meant in poor taste, but merely a hearkening back to the past when jokes were...well, stupid. The real purpose behind the title is a reference to the fact that with no recipe at all I whipped up my very first batch of egg rolls, and they turned out quite well without any genetic heritage. My best friend in high school was Chinese and her mom owned a fantastic restaurant and she would make me Lo Mien just how I liked it--no vegetables at all ( I really have come a long way, haven't I? Mothers, no need to worry about your children..) I'm not sure what Cindy's mom would think of my recipe. Would she think it was some modern American fusion trying too hard? Or would she think about exchanging those stupid water chestnuts in exchange for broccoli, sugar snap peas, and tofu? (I just can't get into those darned water chestnuts, really what's the point?)

But back to the process of the egg roll composition. I saw this enticing

napa cabbage at our local coop and knew I had to have it. But a four pound cabbage at $1.29 per pound is hard to justify. I didn't buy. Over at a friends house later that night I was investigating a book entitled, "Good Morning Kim Chi" showing innumerable versions of the tasty fermented Korean condiment (not meaning to belittle it by implying it has any relationship to ketchup but to imply that the spicy concoction can, and does, go on anything). In "Good Morning Kim Chi" there are numerous recipes detailing the use of whole napa cabbages. It was destiny. Even more so when I had such an intense, practically pregnant, craving for egg rolls. Further confirmed by the fact that Mr. Sprout had inadvertently purchased egg roll wrappers at our international grocers when I had asked for spring roll wraps. That was that. I drove straight over to the coop and got that cabbage.

Cabbage, as we know, is a cruciferous vegetable. Cruciferous vegetables are like the cross they are named after, a miracle. Saving lives. A natural cure for cancer, Nappa Cabbage, sometimes known as Chinese Cabbage, is a little different than other cabbages. Slightly resembling a bok choy and romaine lettuce baby on steroids the nappa variety is pumped full of vitamins: 200 times more vitamin A than common cabbage, high in vitamin C, calcium and phosphorous, and contains notable amounts of iron, magnesium, phosphorous and vitamin B.* But more important than this is the flavor. The Chinese poet Fan Chengda of the Song Dynasty wrote that the flavor was more delectable than a lotus.

And even more important than that is the recipe..

Egg rolls!!!

1/2 a giant nappa cabbage, shredded

5 green onions, sliced

1 head of broccoli, chopped

1 portabella mushroom, sliced into thin strips

2 carrots, julienned

1 red bell pepper, sliced

1/2 can of baby corns (couldn't resist)

2 handfuls sugar snap peas

4 NM green chilies, roasted

1 tub tofu, cut to fit egg rolls

Egg roll wraps

Braggs

Sweet Chili Dipping Sauce

Garlic Chili Oil

Sesame Oil

Canola Oil (For frying)

DO NOTE: You do not need to have all of these vegetables on hand. They are what I had around (minus the baby corns and cabbage) and therefore made the cut. Use your own discretion.

Begin roasting the chilies on your stove top (assuming you have a gas range...if you do not you can roast them in the oven on broil) turning frequently. Place tofu in a frying pan on medium with some sesame oil, garlic chili oil and braggs. Cook until all sides are brown and crisp. While cooking the tofu and roasting chilies chop your veggies. Throw them all into a large frying pan with mostly braggs and a little bit of sesame oil. There will be plenty of oil in frying so don't overdo it when cooking your veggies. Cook for about ten minutes until the veggies are almost done but still crisp. Begin heating the oil (I put about a 1/2" into a 10" frying pan). Place 1/4 cup of the vegetable mix with one strip of tofu in the egg roll wrap. Roll it up on the diagonal. Place in oil and fry to a golden hue. Enjoy with a sauce made of the Thai Kitchen Sweet Chili Dipping Sauce mixed with the garlic chili oil.

*This is a huge side note and will make me sound like a hippy-dippy freak but...I sort of have this notion that the body craves what it needs. I have never, ever, had a craving for nappa cabbage and have never in my life bought it, it just looked so good staring at me, practically glowing under the grocery store fluorescence. In retrospect as I review the nutrients it contains these are the some of the same nutrients one loses during menstruation. Hmmm...no wonder this hippy-dippy girl NEEDED that cabbage!