Better Than Ramen Noodles

If you are anything like me you grew up thinking that Oriental and Vegetable flavored Ramen Noodles are vegetarian. Surprise!!! They're not. The Americanized Ramen we grew up eating all too frequently in college is a bastardization of a traditional Japanese noodle dish, originating from China, and when holding true to tradition, would contain a base broth of chicken or pork--though not the long list of additives and preservatives like the dreaded MSG (mono sodium glutamate).

I would go so far as to caution instant ramen consumers of the health risks, a food high in sodium and carbohydrates and packed with preservatives is logically not healthy. (Though I'm sitting across from someone eating a fast food hamburger (I'm at Marble, for those in Burque)--which is clearly not nutritious.) The "All Experts Encyclopedia" online cites an urban legend in which a student gave himself scurvy subsisting only on ramen noodles. (Oh! And now the guy across from me is eating chicken nuggets too! He's gunna die dude.)

I would go so far as to claim that if you follow my simple recipe below it will take you just as long as instant ramen--only as long as it takes the water to boil and the noodles to cook. I highly suggest staging a race with your friend in the kitchen.

The Recipe

rice noodles (a handful)

boiling water (more than you will use, you can always pour it off)

any vegetables you have in your fridge, chopped*

braggs

cock sauce (no giggles)**

garlic chile oil***

*If they are veggies you would use in a salad keep them raw, if you would typically steam them then you should add them to the boiling water when the noodles are halfway done.

** And *** see photo for brands.

Basically you boil the water and chop your vegetables (that's all the work involved!). If any of the veggies require steaming throw them in at some point while the water is still boiling, that point depends on your discretion. Then you pour off some of the water, add the other vegetables and season with condiments to taste. I usually add tofu. Unfortunately today my tofu was found to have expired. Let us please have a moment of silence to mourn the loss of another unfortunate death inside my refrigerator. Tofu, you were my life, you supported me with protein that provided the "building blocks" of my body (whatever that slogan means), though you may be linked to estrogen based disorders in the body I don't believe it in moderate consumption. Tofu, I love you. We will be together again soon. Please bow your heads.

The vegetables I added were purple kale, carrot, yellow beet, red leaf lettuce, celery, and parsley (really an herb). The purple kale turned the steam water blue, I took some photos. I have heard that nothing in nature is blue (blueberries are actually purple when crushed). I am researching this because I am not really sure if I can trust a caterer who uses Sysco. And in my brief momentary research I realize the health benefits of purple kale and the existence of naturally occurring blue produce will have to wait.